A lot of men wonder why they are unable to find the right woman for a long term relationship. Nowadays with online dating and traditional ways of meeting people, you quickly discover the world is full of single people. Often, a man will go out on a date with a woman where he believes a mutual physical attraction and chemistry are there. The day after the first date, the woman says she is no longer interested, and the man cannot figure out what happened. For those guys who cannot figure out where they went wrong, here are the top 5 mistakes men make on first dates that scare many women into not wanting a second date.
Talk about your ex. Of course when you are in the initial stages of dating you should both discuss previous relationships, but a first date is not the right time to voice detailed information on that subject. You also have to examine what type of information you are sharing. Women are not really interested in hearing about how your ex was super hot, how phenomenal she was in the bedroom, or how she still calls and text messages you all the time. Believe it or not these are all things that some men discuss on first dates. For many women looking for substantive relationships these things are all red flags. On the flip-side we also do not want to hear you say how “crazy” your ex girlfriend was when you were with her. A lot of men will spend 75% of a date chatting about their ex. The more you talk about your ex the more we tend to lose interest, because it shows you are still focused on her. A woman wants a man who is going to treat her like she is not just a woman in his life – but the woman.
Can we split the check. Even in this day and age, if a man asks a woman out on a first date, many women do expect that he pays the check at the end of the meal. In terms of etiquette, if you turn to her after a great dinner to say “can we split the check” it makes you appear a bit cheap. The statement alone is a deal breaker for many women. In that situation you are really not asking a examine at all. You are basically telling her that you desire that she pay for her own meal. In a location where a woman asks a man out on a date, she should be the one paying the check, because she asked him out first. If going “Dutch” is an integral part of who you are then by all means continue to express that on a first date. You will only resent the person you are dating, if you are dishonest about this in the beginning. It is totally understandable that you may not want to buy dinner for every woman you meet on Match.com, because dating can become expensive. If you are uncomfortable paying for a potential date’s dinner, then stick to meeting for coffee or tea at your local coffee house to determine compatibility. If a woman is sincerely interested in you then she will be pleased to meet you at an art gallery, a coffee shop, or even at a dog park if you both have dogs.
TMI on your childhood. A first date is supposed to be easy and fun. It is about enjoying one another’s company, and figuring out if you are compatible on a personal level. Too much information can make the entire space quickly turn into a not so fun time. If the first date is akin to a therapy session, a woman will definitely listen, but mentally she is thinking this is not going to go anywhere. We have all experienced things in our lives that were not describe perfect. When you initially meet a person, it is not a helpful notion to reveal too much information to your date that may be perceived as baggage or unresolved issues. If a woman is looking at you like you could be a potential partner, it may be a turnoff for her if you talk to her like she is your therapist. If you collect yourself doing this often on first dates, it may be a good idea to seek out the help of a professional, who has the training to help you work through what you cannot dash from in your past. A rule of thumb is to approach a first date almost as you would a job interview. You definitely want to be yourself, but if you venture down the path of talking about negative past experiences, you may be perceived in an rotten draw. For many women, if they know about every hurt you have dealt with in life before the end of the first date, it is just too much too soon. In the context of a real relationship or friendship you allotment personal things, but it is not a good idea to do this on a first date if you genuinely desire to make it to a second one.
You have no opinion. Your date inquires about what you like, and you repeat everything that she honest said. In other words, you don’t always want to be Mr. Nice Guy, because you should have an opinion of your own and be able to express what you appreciate doing. This has nothing to do with nice guys finish last, because in my opinion they do not. Another variation of this is that on the phone you and your date are trying to figure out where you should go for dinner. You do not want to risk appearing disagreeable so you state that she chooses the restaurant. When you get there you complain the entire time, or discuss the place you really wanted to go. Ultimately, if you want women to be attracted to you, and if you are sincerely seeking a long term relationship you need to be yourself and be honest about your desires.
You do not listen. Anytime you ask her a question she attempts to answer, but you interrupt her and either change the subject or start talking about yourself again. A man who only talks about himself or who does not allow anyone else to speak is not desirable to most women. It seems like he wants to be in a relationship with himself. A woman is keen in finding a man who values her in every way, and who is respectful of her when they are communicating. If a person will not respect you in the casual environment of a first date, they certainly will not be respectful of you when you are involved in a serious relationship, and the two of you have a disagreement on a real issue.
Tip: It may sound like these tips are suggesting that it is all about the woman in a relationship, but it certainly is not. In general, a man or woman should treat a person how they want to be treated in their own life. When dealing with the opposite sex, always ask yourself how would it design me feel if she (or he) did this to me?
